


It Is Easier for Me to Love You Than It Is for My Heart to Beat

by clearbluewater



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas Party, Established Relationship, Love Confessions, M/M, Sibling Incest, Thorin learns to use his words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-24
Updated: 2013-11-24
Packaged: 2018-01-02 12:13:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1056638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clearbluewater/pseuds/clearbluewater
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fíli and Kíli just want to have sex, but their mother makes them decorate for the Christmas party. Later, they (along with everyone else) scheme to finally get Thorin and Bilbo together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Is Easier for Me to Love You Than It Is for My Heart to Beat

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't write any more on my NaNo novel, and then an artist that I follow on tumblr posted this pic: http://alythekitten.tumblr.com/post/67869368185/oh-oh-ohhhh-christmas-is-coming-can-you-feel-it which came with a writing challenge. Almost four thousand words later, here we are. 
> 
> This was just supposed to be smutty Durincest, but at some point Bagginshield hijacked the plot, put a gun to my head, and told me to drive. 
> 
> Hope you all like it!

            Fíli woke up to the smell of his mother cooking bacon. Fíli was always the first to fully awaken, and he pressed kisses to Kíli’s ear to get his brother to wake up.

 

            Kíli grumbled and swatted at Fíli, who avoided it easily because he actually had his eyes open and just smothered Kíli was more kisses.

 

            “’m up, ‘m up,” Kíli protested, his voice still thick with sleep. “Hate you,” he grumbled.

 

            “No you don’t,” Fíli said cheerfully, giving his brother one last smacking kiss.

 

            “Make getting up worth my while,” Kíli said, rolling over and giving Fíli a slow, seductive smile.

 

            “I would, but Mom is actually cooking bacon.”

 

            “Shit, really?” Kíli said. That certainly woke him up. He untangled himself from Fíli and the covers and the brothers padded downstairs where the smell of food greeted them. They passed a disheveled looking Thorin on the stairwell, who had apparently thought the prospect of Dis cooking special enough that he was ignoring his hangover from the company Christmas party last night.

 

            Dis knew that her brother and sons had entered the kitchen even with her back turned using her special mom sense.

 

            “It’s not for you.”

 

            “What?” Kíli cried in dismay.

 

            “But it’s bacon!” Fíli protested.

 

            “You’ve got to be joking,” Thorin growled.

 

            Dis ignored all of her male relatives and turned the bacon over. “I’m using it in a recipe for dinner. You can eat Pop-Tarts. I’m going to be cooking all day for dinner so I’m not making you breakfast.”

 

            “I knew it was too good to be true,” Fíli lamented.

 

            “Hate you, Mom,” Kíli said.

           

            “Hate you too,” Dis said without even turning around.

 

            Thorin hadn’t wasted time on Dis. He had made a beeline straight for the cabinet that held the Pop-Tarts. When Fíli and Kíli realized it, they made a belated rush to the cabinet, but Thorin easily blocked them.

 

            “No! Nooo!” Kíli cried as Thorin took the last hot fudge sundae Pop-Tart out of the box.

 

            “Have mercy, Thorin!” Fíli said, but the look he aimed at his nephew said that there would be no mercy today. Fíli and Kíli resigned themselves, with much grumbling, to eating strawberry Pop-Tarts.

 

            “Look at him. He’s not even enjoying it,” Fíli said as he watched Thorin grumpily eating his Pop-Tart across from him at the kitchen table.

 

            “I hate all of you,” Kíli informed his family. “I hope you choke on it, Thorin.”

 

            “Oh, speaking of Thorin choking, I invited Bilbo over for dinner,” Dis said.

 

            To Kíli’s utter delight, Thorin did choke on his Pop-Tart.

 

            “Dwalin told me that you fucked up with him at the office Christmas party, so I took pity on you and decided to give you a second chance.”

 

            “Dwalin,” Thorin growled, his tone promising imminent bodily harm to his best friend.

 

            “And Frodo’s coming too, so you three can scheme about how to get Thorin laid so he’s not so grumpy all the time,” Dis said to her boys.

 

            Thorin glared at his sister’s back.

 

            “You’re only proving me right, you know,” she sing-songed.

 

            Disgruntled, Thorin stood up and left the table, still cradling his Pop-Tart with an even grumpier expression on his face than before.

 

            “Now boys, I want you to wear those sweaters than Bilbo got you for Christmas last year. Make Bilbo feel like he’s a part of the family…without scaring him.”

 

            “I don’t think we could scare him any more than Thorin already has,” Fíli protested.

 

            “And he’s already met all of the company, and they’re all going to be at dinner too, so I think Bilbo’s pretty used to it by now,” Kíli added.

 

            “Still, let’s try and make sure that the only reason that Thorin and Bilbo aren’t together is because Thorin can’t get his head out of his ass and it’s not his crazy family.”

 

            “Yes, Mom,” Fíli and Kíli chorused.

 

            “Good boys,” Dis said. “Now after you’ve finished breakfast, get the Christmas decorations out of the shed and start decorating.”

 

            “Mom!” they whined.

 

            “I don’t want to hear it,” Dis said firmly.

 

            Fíli and Kíli gave twin sighs and ate their Pop-Tarts as slowly as possible. Fíli looked outside at the snow that was covering the yard and shed.

 

            “Great. I gave up sex for bacon, but the bacon was a lie,” Kíli grumbled as they went up the stairs to their room. “And Mom’s can’t help because she’s cooking and Thorin won’t help because he’s sulking and trying to look nice for Bilbo so we’re going to be busy decorating _all day_ and we won’t have any time to have sex,” he whined.

 

            “Not if we work fast,” Fíli said. Kíli’s smile slowly widened as he considered the possibility. The two exchanged a glance, nodded at each other, and then sealed it with a kiss.

 

            “This house is going to be decorated so hard it’s not going to know what hit it!” Kíli said, throwing his fists in the air.

 

            Now that their idea had been agreed upon, they dressed in record time to go outside without all their usual fondling of each other that getting dressed usually entailed. Fíli put his hair up in a ponytail, but Kíli left his down. With the determined air that only two teenaged boys that knew sex waited for them at the end of their chores, they got all of the Christmas decorations out of the shed and started to get ready for the party.

 

            The Durins were not a terribly festive family. They didn’t even had a Christmas tree up, and it was already Christmas Eve. In fact, they hardly ever bothered decorating for Christmas at all. The boys suspected that their mother’s sudden insistence on it came from her trying to seem like a normal family to try and get Bilbo and Thorin together. There was one memorable Christmas where Dis hadn’t been able to be home and Thorin had just thrown Fíli’s and Kíli’s presents onto their bed at eight o’ clock in the morning, not even wrapped, said “Merry Christmas”, and went to work. Thorin would work on Christmas if someone didn’t make him take it off.

 

            The tree was the first thing to go up once the boys had turned the radio on to get them in the Christmas spirit. Kíli adored Christmas music, but Fíli could only stand it for about two weeks before he loathed it all. He didn’t have any time to waste arguing with Kíli about it now though, so he focused on putting the ornaments on the tree. They finished with the tree in record time and put the stockings up next. Fíli’s and Kíli’s grandmother had knitted them a long time ago back for their first Christmas, and Thorin’s and Dis’s stockings survived, along with Frerin’s and even Fíli and Kíli’s father’s. They left the last two in the box by unspoken agreement. This wasn’t the best time to bring up old, painful memories.

 

            To lighten the melancholy that the stockings had brought upon them, Fíli and Kíli hung up the mistletoe next. They snickered to each other as they imagined the way everyone in the party would force Thorin and Bilbo into the doorway to kiss. Their eyes met and something decidedly more heated than giggles passed between them. They could no more resist pressing their lips against each other than a magnet could resist being attracted to its opposite charge. Their kiss was deep but tender. Fíli brought a hand up to stroke Kíli’s hair, sighing into his brother’s mouth as he caressed the soft strands. When they broke away, the look they gave each other was so full of naked adoration, affection, and love that if anyone could see them now, any reservations they might have had about Fíli’s and Kíli’s relationship because they were brothers would dissolve.

 

            They were almost finished decorating by four thirty. The party was supposed to start at six, so Kíli and Fíli grinned at each other.

 

            Their mother finally exited the kitchen and plopped down on the couch with a tired sigh. “Finally finished,” she said.

 

            “We’re almost done too, Mom,” Fíli said.

 

            “The food smells good,” Kíli said.

 

            “You can’t touch it ‘til the party,” Dis warned her boys. Thorin came into the room while Kíli was pouting at his mother. He had already worn his best impress-Bilbo outfit at the company party yesterday, but he still looked incredibly handsome in his second best. Dis didn’t seem to share than opinion and tutted as she smoothed the wrinkles from Thorin’s shirt.

 

            “You look lovely, it’s your personality that you have to work on,” she told her brother. Thorin rolled his eyes.

 

“Don’t even give me that. How many times have you been this close to getting with Bilbo,” she said, holding her thumb and forefinger about half a centimeter apart, “before you say something insulting and Bilbo pulls back?”

 

            Thorin sighed. “How do you propose I go about it, then?” he asked.

 

            “Just go up to him and say, ‘Bilbo, I’m sorry I’ve been such an asshole to you for years. I actually really like you. A lot. Can I kiss you?’ And when he says yes, kiss him.”

 

            Thorin huffed a soft laugh. “You make it sound so easy. What if he doesn’t like me or want to kiss me?”

 

            “It really is that easy, and everyone knows that you two like each other. You’d have to be blind not to see it.”

 

            “Dis, I’ve failed in my relationship with Bilbo and we’re not even in a relationship yet. Things will only get worse if we’re actually in a relationship. I’ve ruined all my relationships, and,” Thorin sighed, “I like Bilbo too much to do that to him.”

 

            “Oh, Thorin,” Dis said, hugging her brother. “No one’s good at relationships. Well, not everyone is as bad at them as you are either, but still. If you love each other, you can make it work. Promise me that you’ll make things up with Bilbo tonight,” Dis said.

 

            “I don’t know if I can promise that.”

 

            “Just promise me you’ll try,” Dis coaxed him.

 

            Thorin was silent for a long time. “I will try,” Thorin finally promised. Dis smiled and kissed her brother on his cheek.

 

            “That’s all I can ask for.” The two detached from the hug, having gone way over their quota for emotion for the night, possibly the week. Dis retreated to the kitchen and Thorin went back upstairs.

 

            “Fíli?” Kíli asked once Thorin and Dis had left.

           

            “Yeah, Kee?”

 

            “Is love supposed to be that complicated?”

 

            Fíli bit his lip. “I don’t know, Kee. I guess. Maybe this is a little more complicated than usual because Thorin is emotionally constipated.”

 

            “But our love isn’t complicated at all,” Kíli said.

 

            Fíli gave his brother a gentle smile. “Sure it is, Kee. We’re _brothers_.”

 

            Kíli shook his head vehemently, looking nothing more like a shaggy dog trying to dry itself. “That’s other people’s problem, Fee. It doesn’t matter to us. If anything, it actually makes things easier.”

 

            Fíli hugged his brother, rubbing his back. Gently he pulled away to arm’s length and kissed Kíli on both cheeks. “It is easier for me to love you than it is for my heart to beat,” Fíli said, honest emotion coloring his voice.

 

            Kíli hugged his brother tight. “Me too,” he breathed into Fíli’s ear. They embraced tenderly for a long moment before Kíli broke away and pulled his brother up the stairs by his hand, his face reminding Fíli of why they had worked so quickly to put up the decorations.

 

            When they were finally in the safety of their room, Fíli pushed Kíli against the door and claimed his brother’s mouth. Kíli moaned as he finally got what he had been waiting for all day. Fíli lost no time unbuckling Kíli’s belt and pulling his pants and underwear down, freeing Kíli’s cock. Kíli broke the kiss to do the same and soon both their cocks were free and they were rutting against each other unhindered by clothing. Fíli hissed softly at the new sensations, while Kíli outright moaned. Downstairs, Fíli could faintly hear a knock on the door. The first guests had arrived. They would have to keep it down. Fíli rubbed his thumb across Kíli’s lips, requesting access, which Kíli granted. Now that Kíli’s mouth was occupied with sucking Fíli’s finger, Fíli increased the tempo of their rutting. Kíli got loud like Fíli predicted, but he couldn’t make much more than low, throaty groans while sucking on Fíli’s thumb.

 

            “Boys! Come down here! Dinner’s ready!”

 

            “Shit. In a little bit, Mom!” Fíli called. They were going to have to make this quick. Fíli wrapped his hand around his brother’s cock and starting pumping it. Kíli made a satisfied sound and did the same to Fíli. Their rhythm was faster, more frantic than Fíli wanted it to be, especially since they had been waiting all day. He wanted to make it slow and intense, wanted to have Kíli on the bed underneath him writhing and screaming as Fíli pounded into him with singular intensity, but that was not to be. Not right now, at least. Perhaps after the party…

 

            Fíli took his thumb out of Kíli’s mouth and replaced it with his lips. His brother was hot and hard underneath his hand and would be moaning loudly if Fíli wasn’t covering his mouth. Kíli’s mouth attempted to form a word that Fíli thought was his name, but it came out “mmrp”. Fíli thought it was amazing that Kíli even had breath to speak, because Fíli was panting heavily into his brother’s mouth.

 

            Fíli swiped his thumb along Kíli’s leaking slit. Any further attempts Kíli might have made at speech were abruptly curtailed as he sucked in a giant breath, almost inhaling Fíli’s tongue.

 

            They broke apart to breathe, panting at each other’s necks. “So close, Fee,” Kíli moaned. Fíli nipped his shoulder, making sure it was covered by the sweater. “Me too,” Fíli panted. Their hands were going faster and faster and their breathing was getting louder and louder in the otherwise quiet room. Fíli knew he was right on the edge and he could sense that Kíli was too, so he crashed their mouths together to stifle their moans when they came. It was a good thing he had, because Kíli made a noise that Fíli was positive could be heard in the hallway even muffled as it was. Fíli came a second later with a deep groan and he broke the kiss to pant at his brother’s neck. Fíli wanted to relax in the bliss, but he reluctantly got off Kíli, giving him one last kiss.

 

            “We should clean up and get downstairs.”

 

            Kíli made an unhappy noise and Fíli kissed his nose. Fíli took some wet wipes from their bedside table and cleaned them up. Kíli pouted as Fíli put his pants back on fully and straightened his sweater.

 

            “Your hair is a mess,” Kíli informed him, redoing Fíli’s ponytail.

 

            “So’s yours.”

 

            “My hair is always a mess,” Kíli huffed.

 

            “Boys!” Dis called again. Fíli and Kíli jumped, and then Kíli shouted “Coming!” They shared one last quick kiss and then went downstairs.

 

            The party was already underway. Dwalin, Balin, Oin, Gloin, and Gloin’s wife and son were already there, talking to each other. Thorin was hovering near the door, glaring at it like he could set it on fire with his mind.

 

            “There you two are,” Gimli said, grateful for a chance to escape conversation with his half-deaf uncle. “What’s up with Thorin?”

 

            “Mom got him to promise that he would try and make things up with Bilbo tonight,” Fíli said.

 

            “Really? No wonder he looks like he’s about to have kittens.”

 

            Kíli snickered at a vision of Thorin holding a handful a dark furred kittens with permanently grumpy faces.

 

            There was a knock at the door, and Thorin jumped to open it. It was Bilbo, cradling a bottle of wine, with Frodo at his side. They were both wearing sweaters similar to the ones Bilbo had given Fíli and Kíli.

 

            “Bilbo,” Thorin said, his tone strange.

 

            “Hello, Thorin. I hope we’re not late.”

 

            “No, no, nothing of the sort. Come in,” Thorin said, recovering.

 

            Dis must have heard that it was Bilbo because suddenly she was in front of Bilbo sweeping him into a big hug. “We’re so glad you made it!” she said.

 

            Bilbo awkwardly patted Dis’s back. “Yes, well…wouldn’t have missed it for the world! Couldn’t resist the opportunity to decimate _your_ pantry and almost break all of your dishes. Sorry, that came out wrong. I’m pleased that you’ve have Frodo and I.”

 

            The entire party had gone quiet, doubtless because Dis had told everyone of Thorin’s promise. Dis took the bottle of wine from Bilbo and gave her brother a significant look before disappearing back into the kitchen.

 

            “Frodo!” Gimli called. Frodo smiled at them and Fíli and Kíli rushed up and practically dragged Frodo upstairs. Fortunately, Frodo had come to expect such treatment and was used to it.

 

            It was Gimli who asked, “Where are we going?”

 

            “Just somewhere private. Listen, Thorin’s finally going to make him move tonight. What do we need to do to get them together?”

 

            “Leave them alone,” Frodo said immediately. “Your plans always backfire and make Thorin furious at you. Leave it to me. I can do subtle.”

 

            “We can do subtle!” Kíli protested.

 

            “You thought that it would be a good idea to set Bilbo on fire once,” Gimli reminded them.

 

            “Well, it worked. Sort of,” Kíli said.

 

            “Do you know what Thorin’s going to do?” Frodo asked.

 

            “Mom told him to apologize for being an ass and ask for a kiss. I don’t know if that’s actually what he’s going to do, though,” Fíli said.

 

            “Thorin? Using his words? What a novel idea,” Frodo murmured.

 

            “We did put a lot of mistletoe up if that helps anything,” Kíli said.

 

            “No, make Thorin use his words. That’s practically the only thing that anyone hasn’t tried at this point,” Frodo said, and the crew adjourned to the living room.

 

            Thorin was just hovering around Bilbo, who was sitting at the end of the couch chatting with Gloin and seemingly ignoring Thorin.

           

            “I need some wine,” Thorin said suddenly. “Would you like some wine as well, Bilbo?”

 

            “Hm? Oh, I guess,” Bilbo said before turning back to his conversation. The four teenagers followed him as he stalked into the kitchen were Dis was opening the bottle of wine that Bilbo had brought.

 

            “If you do what Dis says, I’m sure it will work,” Frodo told him. Thorin spun around, apparently unaware that Frodo was behind him. He narrowed his eyes at Fíli and Kíli, who used their innocent angel look that had never fooled Thorin once.

 

            “Really. He does love you, you know,” Frodo told him earnestly.

 

            Thorin sighed and ran a hand through his hair. When Dis handed him a glass of wine, he knocked it back in one gulp like it was a shot.

 

            “I love him too,” Thorin said, his voice husky. “But I’m shit at relationships. I don’t want to hurt him.”

 

            “You’re already hurting him,” Frodo said. “Everyone’s tired of living in a limbo about your relationship.”

 

            “Really. _Everyone_ ,” Gimli said.

 

            Thorin held his wine glass out for his sister to refill, which she did, as well as press a full one into his hand.

 

            “Talk to him,” Dis said. Thorin looked at his sister, then at the four boys, then set off back to the living room.

 

            Thorin entered the living room at a lull in the conversation that seemed perfectly engineered to give Thorin the opportunity he needed.

 

            Thorin stiffly offered the glass of wine to Bilbo.

 

            “Thank you,” Bilbo said, taking a sip.

 

            “Can I speak to you?” Thorin asked him suddenly.

 

            “Of course.”

 

            “In private?”

 

            Bilbo frowned, but got up and followed Thorin into the currently unoccupied dining room. The boys waited for all of four seconds after Bilbo and Thorin were in the room before pressing themselves to the wall around the arch that lead to the dining room. It was a little awkward, Fíli and Kíli literally on top of each other and Frodo ended up sitting on a table with Gimli under it, but they didn’t care.

 

            “Bilbo.” Thorin said it like it was the start of the sentence, but he didn’t continue. There was a long pause.

 

            “Um, yes?” Bilbo asked finally.

 

            “I’m sorry.”

 

            “For what?”

 

            “For…everything. Since I’ve ever met you. I would like to apologize for my behavior towards you, which has not always been…commendable.”

 

            “That’s…awfully inclusive,” Bilbo said with a small laugh. “But I forgive you. For everything.”

 

            “Everything?” Thorin pressed.

 

            “Yes, Thorin. Everything,” Bilbo said, his voice soft.

            “Good.”

 

            Fíli and Kíli looked at each other. They could both imagine Thorin nodding his head at this point.

 

            “I love you,” Thorin said suddenly.

 

            “Wha—?”

 

            “I love you,” Thorin repeated. “And I’d like to kiss you now. If I could. Please.”

 

            Soft sounds of kissing came from the dining room, and the boys pantomimed their joy, Frodo nearly falling off of his table.

 

            “I love you too, you idiot,” Bilbo said, his voice a little breathless when they broke the kiss.

 

            “I’d like to take you out on a date.”

 

            “Later,” Bilbo said, and they were kissing again. Kíli dared a look since his uncle and his hopefully-soon-to-be uncle were preoccupied. They were kissing quite passionately, hands fisting in each other’s hair. Bilbo let out a soft moan and that was their cue to spread the good news.

 

            “They did it!” Kíli exclaimed to the room full of adults who were waiting for this particular piece of news. They all cheered.

 

            “Oh thank God,” Dis said, pressing a hand to her breast and clutching her glass of wine. “I was really hoping that I wasn’t going to have to kick Thorin out into the snow on Christmas Eve because he fucked up _again_.”

 

            “Well, I wouldn’t say that fucking wouldn’t be in the near future,” Fíli said, waggling his eyebrows.

 

            Dis scowled. “You’re too young to know about that.”

 

            Fíli and Kíli exchanged incredulous looks, then directed their incredulous looks at their mother.

 

            “Don’t give me that look. You’ll always be my babies. Come here,” she said, holding out her arms. Fíli and Kíli entered into their mother’s embrace and Dis fussed with their hair.

 

            “Are we ever going to eat? I want my bacon now,” Kíli said, returning to the second pressing issue of the evening.

 

            “The dining room is a little occupied,” Fíli reminded him.

 

            “I hope they don’t have sex on the table,” Gimli said.

 

            “Who is going to take me home if Bilbo wants to spend the night? I would really hate for him not…spend time with Thorin because of me.” Frodo said.

 

            “I’ll take you home.”

 

            “Thanks, Gloin.”

 

            “We can eat in here,” Dis decided.

 

            They had a lovely Christmas dinner, even if it was spent in the living room trying to ignore the sounds from the dining room and they had to use their laps (or their brother’s lap, in the case of Kíli) instead of tables. When all the adults were drunk and laughing uproariously at something only drunk people could find funny, Frodo was sitting in the middle of it all looking serene and happy, Gimli was smiling at a text from Legolas, and Fíli and Kíli snuck away and kissed each other under the mistletoe. 


End file.
